


you're beautiful

by ohjdaem



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Military, Angst, M/M, No Happy Ending Fest, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Romance, Strangers, Unhappy Ending, no happy ending, slight stalking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:28:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22754011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohjdaem/pseuds/ohjdaem
Summary: Sehun, subway stations, andChen.
Relationships: Kim Jongdae | Chen & Oh Sehun, Kim Jongdae | Chen/Kim Minseok | Xiumin
Comments: 15
Kudos: 48
Collections: No Happy Ending Fest - 2019





	you're beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt #:** 42  
>  **Prompt:** "Maybe we meant to meet but not to be"  
>  **Pairing/Main Character(s):** Sehun/Chen  
>  **Side Characters(if any):** Xiumin  
>  **Word Count:** 2,268  
>  **Warning(s)/Additional Tag(s):** angst, just angst.  
>  **Author's note:** Tbh, this is my first time joining a fic fest and I am nervous as hell. I actually had this sometime in March last year, been sitting in my notes since then because I was too scared to post it. This is so special to me because this is my first work EVER. Luckily, I found a prompt that would suit my work.
> 
> Special thanks to C who encouraged me to join this round of NHE. This baby wouldn't have the chance to be posted if it wasn't for you. I really owe you one. To G eonnie, my beta, you are the best. Thank you and I love you. 
> 
> To the prompter, I hope I gave justice to your idea. I tried. Hehe. I hope it works out for you, too. 
> 
> To the kindest and most hardworking mods who never failed to lend a helping hand to me, thank you so much. I've posted a little late due to personal reasons, but they're very considerate. Thank you for this opportunity.
> 
> Btw, this is inspired by James Blunt's You're Beautiful. I hope you enjoy it. <3

He was a man of honor. He vowed to his parents to never give in to any type of distractions during his service. Coming from the most respected military family, all the pressure of becoming the best is all on him. His only priority is to dutifully serve his country. 

He was a man of honor. He earned this at a young age. He was a quiet and reserved child, only talking when necessary. But when someone is at a disadvantage, he will not hesitate to step up. So when his classmate, Taejung, kept picking on Jieun, who is not as privileged as most of them, he stood up for her. Taejung was running around the room with Jieun's worn out bag in his hand. He secretly laid out his left leg on the aisle Taejung was about to pass. Taejung tripped and the whole class laughed. He remained lying on the floor, too embarrassed to get up.

_"Now you know how it feels to be laughed at. I hope you stop this act, Taejung-ah,"_ he said. Everyone was so surprised that only the timid boy in their class could make the bully stop his antics. He's been looked up to ever since.

He was a man of honor-in everything he do and say.

Sehun was a man of honor.

Until he met _him_.

/ / /

He was given a 2-day off from service. Sehun was on his way home on the subway when he first saw him. He thought he was lucky today because it wasn't as crowded as it used to be. The young man was sitting across Sehun, indulged into whatever he's listening to. So indulged that he had his eyes closed. 

Sehun thought the man in front of him was sleeping. And beautiful. 

Sehun kept on staring at the man, as if he was bewitched by some unseen sorcery, until the man opened his eyes. He was shocked to see such beautiful eyes looking back at him. Sehun was so embarrassed, he was the one to break off the stare. The man shrugged it off and went back to listening, occasionally humming along. Or so Sehun thought.

Sehun couldn't look at him again because the stranger might catch him staring again. Only stealing glances from time to time. He heard a sound like someone's singing, softly but loud enough for him to hear. Realizing it was the young man he was attracted to who was singing, he couldn't help but stare again.

Sehun thought he was cute, with his eyes closed and pouring his heart into singing (more like humming). Somewhere along the song, he saw a tear slip the stranger's eye behind his black specs. The tears kept coming, though. Sehun was so bothered as to what got the stranger crying. _How could one be so sad yet beautiful at the same time_ , he thought.

Sehun was shocked when the young man opened his eyes and looked right through him. He was enchanted, never moving and his heart had never beat so fast like that before. The stranger's brown orbs are captivating, with long, curled lashes. There's something about the way he stares at Sehun that made him think the man was lurking through his soul—that he was so transparent he could tell right away that Sehun was attracted to him. It became a game of who to break off the stare first until the train stopped at a station. The stranger with the most beautiful dark brown orbs stood up from his seat and got off. 

Sehun almost forgot it's his stop, too. He immediately got off, with the image of the beautiful man still on his mind. He tried to find the man but he failed. On his way home, Sehun convinced himself that he was just a stranger he met. 

_But he could not get him out of his mind._

/ / /

He was on his way back to the camp after a week off. This was his only vacation months after he encountered the stranger on that fateful day.

To say that Sehun was enthralled by the man on the train is an understatement. He refused to take a day off for the last three months as it was his way to get him off of his mind. He was afraid he might see him again in the subway, or somewhere in the vicinity. Afraid that he might lose it again. He was just starting to recover from all those sleepless nights the stranger caused him. Sehun knew what he wanted before he met him. Meeting the young man on the train had him questioning himself that it got him to the brink of insanity.

It's an excruciating feeling to fight back what the heart really feels just to adhere to the society's sick norms. He was in denial that he was attracted to a man, and that's the hardest part for him. But the heart wants what it wants. It took him about three months to get that beautiful but sad eyes off his mind. It took Sehun three months to occupy himself with anything just so he could forget _him_. 

He tested the waters by getting a week off, trying to prove to himself he's already okay. That if he was to meet a familiar stranger anywhere he'd be fine and just pass by him. 

He almost succeeded, until he saw a glimpse of _him_ again.

He waved the thought off. _‘Probably just my sheer imagination,’_ he said. Sehun was standing, waiting for the train to come. In his peripheral view, he saw a familiar figure. He tried to fight it, but the force was too strong to ignore and he gave in. He looked to his side, and saw the familiar stranger standing beside him, waiting for the train, too.

He looked exactly the same as Sehun remembered. Jet-black hair, eyes a little bit happier than the last time, _definitely more beautiful than the last time._

_'Happiness looks good on him,'_ Sehun thought as he admired him. Sehun knew he might look like a fool at that moment with him trying to cover his happiness from his face, and a smile trying to form on his lips.

Sehun noticed the books the familiar stranger was carrying. It had a sticker posted on it.

**_CHEN_ **

_It must be his name._

Sehun never thought he'd see _him_ again, but here he was. He did not remember that he was still staring (more like ogling) at _him_ , until 'Chen' snapped his head to the side, meeting Sehun's eyes.

That's when the truth hit Sehun. _I really like him._ He couldn't deny it anymore.

Chen was surprised to see the soldier beside him judging by the way his eyes flash an emotion that Sehun could place as fascination, though Chen doesn’t really know him. He bowed to Sehun and offered him a small smile. Sehun was pulled back to reality after that and bowed back. They both stood still; Sehun too afraid to make a fool of himself, and Chen who looks like he’s trying to push the awkwardness away.

The train had finally come. Chen immediately found an empty spot and sat as he aboard on the train, while Sehun placed himself at a safe distance. He believed it was the only way he could put his beating heart to rest. But with Chen's presence still lingering around, it's almost impossible for him to stop feeling things. 

Once again, he let the chance slip away when he did not approach the Chen guy as they got off the train.

He tried searching for a Chen on his social media for months. Unfortunately, he did not find any trace of him.

'Maybe it wasn't his name after all. Maybe I'll meet him again some other day,' he tried to convince himself.

But there’s a small voice at the back of his head that says otherwise.

_Or maybe it really is not meant for Sehun to know Chen._

/ / /

It was so fast, the time. 

Sehun could vividly remember the day he entered the active army duty. He enlisted silently, just a few friends and his mom accompanied him. He remembered the chilly air, the blossom petals falling on the cold pavement. He remembered hugging his mom who bid him goodbye with encouraging words. He remembered how peaceful he felt on his first night at the camp. 

18 months had passed almost too quickly. Today, he was discharged from service. He reluctantly declined his family's offer to fetch him outside the camp. He wanted to be discharged quietly like when he entered. Sehun asked everyone to just wait for him at home and have a feast there.

He was with his fellow soldiers. They rode the subway still in their uniforms. The train was filled with chatty men in camouflage, looking forward to what's next to come for them. Sehun was standing, gripping the hanging handrail to keep his balance. He did not want to admit it, but he was excited. He missed home. 

He was pulled out of his trance when someone bumped into his shoulder, causing him to slightly lose his balance. He looked for the person who tripped over him. He could not believe his eyes.

He struggled when he last saw _him_. He couldn't get him off of his mind even when he wanted to. Sehun had his fair share of relationships before but he never felt this way. The attraction was too strong. Probably because it's the first time he caught feelings towards another man, but the feeling's incomparable to what he felt from his past girlfriends. The first month after seeing Chen was the hardest. Sehun searched for him, but he didn't know how. He should've talked to him that day.

Sehun never got over _him_. It frustrates the hell out of him. How could a stranger hold so much power over him? During hard times, all he had to do was think of his face, the smile that Chen gave him when they were waiting for the train to arrive, and he was okay again. He tried to deny it-his feelings for Chen. _‘Maybe it was all but a silly crush,’_ he convinced himself. But there's no point in denying when all he ever wanted was to see _him_ everyday. Sehun would give everything just to see this Chen guy everyday.

He was all prepped up today, Sehun noticed. From his moss green sweater, dress pants, and sneakers, Chen was all dressed up like he was waiting for this day to come. Sehun noticed he didn't wear his specs. His eyes are truly beautiful. He is still beautiful.

"I'm sorry," Chen mumbled softly, offering Sehun a small smile. "It's really packed in here."

Sehun could not grasp what's happening. Chen talked to him. He just talked to him. He thought his voice was so beautiful. He could listen to Chen talking all day if he was given a chance to.

He just smiled at Chen. Panic started to rise in his body. He knew he should talk to him, but he can't find the right words. _'Should I ask his name? Would I be too obvious? Should I invite him to have dinner with us at home? Is it too early for that? Wait, shouldn't I be introducing myself first? Dammit.'_

Sehun was starting to build confidence when the train suddenly came to a halt. It was a stop at a station. In a matter of seconds, Chen was gone to get off the train. 

Sehun spotted him just right after the door. The train being packed with people getting off, he made up his mind to go and chase Chen. He knew deep down this may be his last chance, his only chance. He squished himself through the crowd. He couldn't care less even when he earned hateful words and stares from the people he hit unintentionally. 

All he wanted was to get to _him_.

He finally got off and searched for Chen. The latter, however, was nowhere in sight. He continued to run and look for Chen. Sehun knew he wouldn't forgive himself if he missed this chance. He still couldn't find him regardless of his effort.

Sehun was losing hope until he saw a familiar figure by the stairs. He followed it until he saw the clearer view. It was Chen, he could not be wrong with that jet black hair and the green top the figure wears. Sehun followed him.

Sehun was a non-believer of fate, but all that changed when he met Chen.

Maybe fate brought them together. What else could the reason be?

So when he was finally just a few meters away from _him_ , Sehun knew he was ready. He was ready for this so called fate.

Sehun was about to reach out Chen's hand, but he stopped in his tracks.

He was about to hold _him_ , to finally have _him_ in his arms.

But someone else was already holding it.

Chen was with another man, a soldier to be exact. He wore the exact uniform as Sehun's. He knew that man

Kim Minseok.

He was from Sehun's battalion but from a different squad.

Sehun just stared as he watched the two of them exit the station, hand in hand, occasionally looking at each other and smiling, as he felt his heart sunk down to his stomach.

**_Chen looked happy._** The happiest version of him Sehun had ever seen. He looked at the man who holds his world, his heart.

He was too late.

He lost his chance. Sehun lost _him_.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave some lovin'! Let me know your thoughts, violent reactions, anything!


End file.
